One Tip to Prevent Burn Out in Your Marriage/Ministry

Focus is a big thing in the life of a mom and wife. 

 Oftentimes, we are busy and are being pulled in several different directions at one time.  We sit down to pay the bills and someone needs a drink.  We start to wash the dishes and someone needs their diaper changed.  Because of the nature of the “beast”, we have to go with the flow.

When a spouse is in full time Christian work such as a pastor, your home life and your church life tend to bleed together.  It is a natural thing.  However, it can become a thing of contention…stress…and frustration if not handled properly.  How do we handle this situation?

When my husband went full time at our church after three years of working a secular full time job, it was quite the adjustment.  Since the church was full time on my husband’s mind, I felt pressured to focus my concentration on it as well any and all times of the day and night.  

Not a good situation.  I was working a full time job as a caregiver for Senior Helpers, babysitting full time, running our household, and being a mom to four girls.  I would be focused on a certain project or responsibility and would then have to drop it to focus on something church related.  

I felt discouraged that I was not focusing on my husband’s passion the way I felt he needed and wanted me to.

We finally came to a solution. 

 We scheduled an administrative meeting just for us once a week regarding all church related items that we needed to discuss.  

My husband would come home early on Wednesdays and from 2:30-4pm, we would meet.  If something came up during the week that needed discussing, we simply wrote it down to discuss at our meeting.

What did this accomplish?  

1.  It provided a consistent time and place for that responsibility.  

2.  It relieved the frustration to have to drop my focus on my responsibilities of work and home.

3.  It separated our home and work.  Even though our life is centered around Christ and the church, everyone needs that sacred haven of home.

Perhaps this tip will you in your area of ministry and family.

Recipe: Crock Pot Smoked Sausage, Green Beans and Potatoes

Crock Pot Smoked Sausage, Green Beans and Potatoes

For busy working moms and wives, crock pot meals are a life saver!  This is a savory meal all in one that is A-1 comfort food. 

1 lb. kielbasa or smoked sausage-sliced

4 medium potatoes, peeled and cubed

½ medium onion, sliced

1 bag of frozen green beans

½ tsp. black pepper

Salt to taste

Directions:

Combine all ingredients except the smoked sausage and place in crockpot.  Add water to cover ingredients.  (Chicken broth can be added for more flavor in place of the water.)  Cover and cook on low for 4-6 hours or until potatoes are done.

One hour before you are ready to serve, add smoked sausage to the top.  Do not stir.  Mix before serving.

How To Reuse a Parmesan Cheese Lid

Did you know that the lids to the Parmesan cheese containers will fit on a mason glass jar?

Amazing!  What an awesome idea to reuse a simple and free household product that you would simply have thrown in the garbage or recycling bin.  

Think of the possibilities you could utilize this for now!  

A few I thought of to use personally:

The crumb coating for fish fillets

(My husband and I eat a lot of fish and I always have this half used bag of crumb coating.  :/)

The powered sugar/cinnamon mix that my kids like to put on buttered toast

(We currently keep it in a plastic container with a spoon - what a mess!  And what a problem this will solve!)

My homemade Cajun seasoning!

(Perfect!)

Rice

Instant mashed potato flakes 

(Especially if you keep them on hand to thicken soups)

Italian bread crumbs

You can use mayo lids as well to top off your mason jars for other items.

So let's say the possibilities are endless with the mason jars. :)

So get organizing!  What would you use this idea for?

When Good People Do Bad Things...

Often, we hear the sad stories of folks we have known in the work of the Lord to make bad decisions and do some very bad things.  It is difficult to not become judgmental...critical...or even disillusioned.  Even though we know in our minds, they are simply human and sinners...even the best of us have a hard time accepting it.

  In these moments, let us remember the following thoughts:

1.  God's judgment is enough.  Enough said.

2.  Do not include others that were a part of that person's life into your judgmental thoughts.  Most always, pastors, parents, spouses, friends, etc. did not have a part in the wrong action.  They are a victim, too.

3.  Judgment should not increase because that person held a spiritual title or position.  We are all EQUAL sinners.  And the Lord died for all equally as well.

4.  Being kind in a situation does not mean you are condoning the sin or action.  Consider Jesus and his kindness to the woman taken in adultery.  Enough said.

5.  A judgmental spirit only reveals a proud heart.  "There, but for the grace of God, go I."

Ten Random Things Pastor's Wives Wished They Could Say To Their Husbands

1.  We want to throw your phones away.  

I know…every phone call is an emergency 

when you’re a pastor.

2.  Date nights should be a non-church related activity.  Thanks for cleaning the church with me…but I still want Mexican.

3. We feel special when you ask our advice.  

Cause we are pretty smart.

4. You are the one God called as the pastor.  

    Forgive us when we don’t exactly have the “pastoring touch”.

5.  Big visions scare us.  

But we will be your biggest supporters.

6.  We don’t like you hugging other women.  

Yep, I just said it. 

7.  We love philosophizing about everything God.  

It is our whole life, right?

8.  Socializing, do we have to?

9.  You are our pastor but we need double the 

sensitivity when giving us advice or criticism. 

10.  We know we are the most blessed women on earth.  Cause we have you.

Deciding When Working Outside the Home is Right for You

What a tough subject to tackle.  My mindset used to be straight across the board for everyone…you shouldn’t.  I have come a long ways in my thinking…matured and broadened. 

Becoming a working mom is a personal decision that you have to base on what is right for you and your family.  

When we had our first child, I became a stay at home mom.  I stayed a stay at home mom for the next nine years.  Then one year ago, my husband and I decided together for me to enter back into the workforce.  It didn’t happen overnight but once it did, I knew it was the perfect decision and God had blessed us with just the right job.  (I am a caregiver at a company called Senior Helpers for the elderly.)   I thought I would share what factors we based our decision on to return to the work force.

1. Do NOT base going back to work based on what someone else has done and is successful at.  

You are not them.  Your family is not their family.  Your life is not their life. 

2. Determine the reasons why you are going back 

into the work force. 

Our reason for me to start working was NOT based on raising our standard of living.  We had lived for nine years up to four children on one income.  We decided if we were to take control of our finances and get out of debt, this would be the way.  I began to work and my paychecks went to pay off our debt.  In less than 8 months, we paid off over $10,000 in debt!  We made the decision…and we stuck with it. 

3. Choose a job that will not affect your 

responsibilities as a wife and a mom.

-I chose to work at night so I am with my children during the daytime hours.  

This allows our family to continue to home school and does not create a need or expense for child care.  We decided we would only choose something that would continue to allow me to fulfill my role as a wife and mother – which is my number one priority.

-I chose a job which does not interfere with my church attendance.  

This is a decision that I made aware to my employer before I was hired.  I have chosen to place my Lord above any job.

-I chose a job that worked around my husband and his schedule.  

Yes, he is wonderful and does extra to manage the household when I am gone nights.  However, if my job began to demand his schedule to accommodate mine…I would quit.  

His calling is his work as a pastor.  My calling is a wife and mother.  Always keep that priority in mind.

4. Choose a job that keeps your focus on Christ.

I don’t want a job where I may focus on moving up in a career.  I don’t want a job with temptations of relationships that could lead me astray from my marriage.  I don’t want a job that is more enticing than being in my home – my haven. 

In basing our decisions on what we felt would best honor the Lord, He has truly blessed us.  For you see, eight months ago, my husband and I stepped out on faith.  He quit his job as the regional manager of a local medical company 

to go full-time in the pastorate. 

I now say…Working my job allows me to support my husband so he can do what his life’s passion truly is.  

He said to me a few days ago…”I love going to work.  I get to do every day what I love.  How many people can say that?”

There is no greater reason in my mind to do what I have chosen.  I am blessed.

Tips For Organizing Your Home - Part 2

Another guest post from Mrs. Jenny Musser on Organizing Tips for Your Home.

My kitchen is on the smaller side and I only have 5 drawers to put silverware, utensils, dishtowels and all those random things you use once a year, like a turkey baster, funnel, egg slicer-do I even need an egg slicer, probably not!  

But there are so many little things in my kitchen that need a place to go.  

This organizing tip is similar to my last one and maybe you already do this, but I hope this will be a help to those of you who are looking to get organized.  I picked up these plastic containers at the dollar store and they fit perfectly in my top cabinets. 

I use mine for sippy cups, measuring spoons/cups, and they are great for all the plastic lids.  

Also, it is a good idea to go through your plastic food containers and lids every couple of months, you will find that you don't always have the lid or your husband used the container to drain the oil out of the car! :)  

*I like the idea of creating a container just for baking items.  This includes all tsp, tbsp, measuring cups, pastry blender, etc.  So when you are mixing up a recipe, you are not stuck digging for that 1/2 tsp!  Simply grab that container and you are ready to go. :)

Recipe: Crock Pot Beef and Noodles

Crock Pot Beef and Noodles

I was born and raised a Buckeye in the heart of the Midwest.  As a Baptist PK, we had numerous potlucks over my childhood. ;)  Someone always made this dish and it was one of my favorites.  I recently found this recipe online and it has become one of my most favorite recipes! 

For a true Midwest style meal, serve this over a bed of mashed potatoes and a salad on the side.  Enjoy!

2 lbs. stew meat, cubed

29 oz. beef broth, canned

2 cups water

1 tbsp. minced garlic

½ tsp. onion powder

½ tsp. salt

½ tsp. pepper

16 oz. egg noodles

Directions:

Place stew meat in crock pot and pour beef broth and water over the meat.  Add in garlic, onion powder, salt and pepper.  Cover.  Cook on high for 4 hours or low for 8 hours.  Add in egg noodles during the last 30 minutes of cooking.

Enjoy!

Homemaking Tip: Two Ways to Use a Shoe Organizer

Here is a GREAT idea I want to try.  I found this idea from a blog site - Little House Living.

The two ideas I am definitely going to use:

To organize my FOUR daughters hair related items.  

This has been an eyesore...a frustration...and just a mess to keep organized.  This will be a place to hold all hair pretties, brushes, tangle spray, curling irons, etc. You can organize it by colors for all the hair accessories.

To organize spices for the pantry.  

How often am I cooking and have to waste time digging in the shelves looking for that ONE spice I need...right then! It would also eliminate purchasing doubles because you thought you were out - instead, it was just tucked in the corner behind all the others.  I have a small problem...I haven't a pantry to hang it in.  :/  But I just need to consider more options.  :)

What other ideas would you use this organizer for?

Devotional: Money and The Holy Spirit

Oftentimes, we relate the Holy Spirit in the "spiritual" aspect of our lives.  Reading our Bible, prayer, church, serving in our church.  And sadly, too often, we forget to invite the Holy Spirit into our every day goings on.

One aspect that I have been pondering lately is the fruit of the Spirit - temperance.  We find this in Galatians 5:22-23.  "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law."  

A simple definition of temperance is simply - 

self-control.

This year, we decided to host a Financial Peace University class by Dave Ramsey at our church.  I am the coordinator so I have been doing some extra research and homework on the subject of Biblically handling your money.  

Wouldn't the fruit - temperance - be a great fruit to have in our financial life?  The self-control of sticking to a budget, cutting up a credit card, paying off accumulated debt and so on.

I had to ask myself...Have I invited the Holy Spirit into my financial life?  I may think I have self-control in my life...then I look at my debt numbers.  You see, I am one of those overly confident women.  One that can keep it all together.  One that doesn't need a buddy to be able to fulfill a goal.  I like doing things my way and on my own.  In two words, pretty cocky.  

Managing our finances is one thing I feel I do well.  

Stop, Rebekah.  

I need to remember I can't do ANYTHING well on my own.  

I need the Holy Spirit in everything I do.  

Even the things I can handle.

For if I only invite the Holy Spirit in the things that I can't handle, He has just become the crutch in my life when something is broken.  

Don't wait until something "breaks" in your life before you ask the Holy Spirit in.  

So, tonight, I will ask the Holy Spirit to come into my financial life.  He will be right there with me as I complete the budget, follow the debt snowball plan, give my tithes, and pay my bills.  

What may be in your life that you can handle but shouldn't?  

What area do you need to invite the Holy Spirit into today?  

To The Perfect Woman...And Those Who Aren't

I have read many articles lately on that “perfect wife and mother”.  They all end the same.  Another woman sees this "perfect" woman at everything she does… and feels like a failure.   Until she sees the flaws of that woman!  That perfect woman has her off days too.  Hmm…”I feel better!” the other woman says. 

These articles are baloney. Some women do pretty much have it all together. They keep their weight down, dress nice, work a job, keep their houses clean and cook homemade meals.  That is good.  That is OK.  

Shh, they have a secret to their EXCELLENCE (not perfection).  It is called character and hard work.  

Oh, not what you were expecting, right? 

So instead of receiving applause for their diligence...their dirty laundry is aired by those who need to feel better about themselves and their short comings.  Oh, not by them!  By those who feel inferior to them.  Yes, every person has dirty laundry.  They have an unmade bed…dirty dishes in their sink…dust on the windowsill.   They, however, do not air their faults and failures.  They are not hiding them so that others think they are perfect.  

They just have enough common sense to know that a mature adult does not tell all.

They then go back to work and fix what needs to be done.

I remember one time we had a new family begin to attend our church.  On the outside, it appeared this woman had the one-up on me!  In my naturally sinful state, I tried to find an area that I excelled in more than she did.  (That was hard to find!)  And I found myself to point of disliking her...when I didn't even know her and simply for the fact she appeared to have it together...more than me!  Do you realize how frustrated you will make yourself? 

 I was trying to make myself feel better about my weaknesses when in reality, I had simply invited jealousy, bitterness, evil speaking into my heart.

How unfair we have become to those women who simply work hard and mind their own.  

And what a trap of comparing ourselves have we fallen into and have validated it to build our self-worth.

 

We as a society have chosen to say “No child left behind” to EVERY facet of our lives…it is OK to fail.  As long as you are trying.  We have taken the word failure out of our vocabulary because it causes us to be depressed.  It causes our self-worth to dwindle.  We feel "bad" about ourselves.  We have accepted this philosophy as women in general and we are passing it on to our children.

To the two groups of women mentioned I say:

   1. Instead of when we fail and look to find someone else who has failed, seek out a person who is a success and who has EXCELLED in that area of failure.  

   Study.  Observe.  Find out what they have done to EXCEL and apply it to your life.

    2. Stop comparing!  

    There are two people we should compare ourselves to: 

The Lord Jesus Christ.   

 And yourself yesterday.  

You will ALWAYS find something in your life to improve on when you read God's Word.  And you will never grow if you do not look at yesterday and try to improve on that.

    3. Realize that every person has strengths and weaknesses.  

   Don’t compare your weaknesses to their strengths. 

And don’t use your weaknesses as an excuse to stay where you are! 

Build on your strengths AND build on your weaknesses.

Women who excel…high five!  I applaud you for your hard work, consistency and character.  Keep up the good work.

Ways To Give Yourself a Boost During the January Blues

January.  Just a blah month.  Cold, snow, and cabin fever.  We need to, on purpose, find ways to give us that boost out of the blahs!

Here are a few to consider:

1.  Exercise.  Yes, let's just get this one out there first and out of the way.  It doesn't matter what you chose to do, just do it and do it consistently. Choose something you enjoy. I personally use the Couch to 5K app on my IPhone.  

2.  Treat yourself.  One of my favorite Mom treats is a 6 inch egg, ham and cheese on flatbread with lots of veggies and Southwest sauce with a Coke on the side for $3.  And it is healthy.  :)

3.  Clean out a spot in your home that has been neglected over the winter.  You don't have to deep clean your entire home.  Just do one cupboard...or the top of the closet...or your vehicle.  Just put it in your plan to do it tomorrow and then do it.  You will find yourself coming back just to see that organized little spot over and over. :)  And you will be inspired to do another area.

4.  Get lots and lots of sunshine.  Open your blinds and curtains.  Let that bright and warm sunshine into your home and it will brighten your mood.  I choose my dining room table to do my office work because it receives sunlight almost all day long.

5.  Separate yourself from negative influences and flood your soul with positive influences.  

A few resources I use on a regular basis are...

You Version Bible app -  http://www.bible.com/app - You can choose different devotionals and Bible reading plans.  You can even listen to the Bible being read out loud.
One Place app - http://www.oneplace.com/ - I enjoy listening to Bible teaching through this app.  (I do not endorse every teacher on this site.  You make your own calls on this. :)
Kindle app - http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?docId=1000493771 - There are tons of great FREE electronic books every day.  And you don't need a Kindle anymore to own them. :)  I enjoy reading cooking books, spiritual books, gardening books, etc.

There is no reason for us to be a depressed and overwhelmed wife and mom.  

Put some action to your spirit today!  :)

Tips For Organizing Your Home-Part 1

On Thursdays, I will feature special guest authors.  I am very excited to share these ladies' talents and expertise with you!

Today's guest author is Mrs. Jenny Musser.  Jenny is the wife of Bro. Josh Musser and stay-at-home mom of Reagan-age 1.  They live in Reno, NV.  Beginning in February, they will oversee the music ministry at SVBC.

I asked a few young ladies, ages 8-11, at church what their favorite thing to do for fun was.  Some of their answers were playing on the Wii, watching movies and riding bikes in the summer. 

If you had asked me that question when I was their age, I would have said organizing!  

I would go around the house and find shoe boxes, baskets and anything I could use to organize my room with.  I love having an organized home.  It has saved me time when looking for something and money because I'm not buying multiple items of the same thing because I can't find it.

This is the time of year when we resolve to clean-out, de-clutter and re-organize and Rebekah has asked me 

to share some of my favorite ways to get organized!  

My first tip is for all that bakeware that falls out of your cabinet when you open the door!  

I have tried organizers made especially for this, but they didn't work for me.  So, I decided to re-organize!  I love to organize with baskets and a great place to find them is Ross, Burlington and Home Goods, I'm always checking the clearance section of these stores for them. 

I had some baskets that I wasn't using so I decided to try them and I was so happy with how they worked. 

I don't have to take the entire stack out of the cabinet to get to the one I need to use.  

Make sure you measure the inside of your cabinets before you go shopping so they fit! 

Even my daughter, Reagan, has her own basket for her bakeware. :)

Stay tuned next week for another organizing tip from Jenny!

Recipe: Crock Pot Chicken and Dumplings

I can make old fashioned chicken and dumplings...mmm!  The kind where you can't touch that lid.  LOL!  However, this is a second choice for a tasty bowl of dumplings.  And the crockpot does all the work for you.  

4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
2 tbsp. butter
2 cans of condensed cream of chicken soup
2 cups carrot chips
1 onion, diced
2-10 oz. packages refrigerated biscuit dough - torn into pieces

1.  Place the chicken, butter, soup, carrots and onion in a crock pot.
2.  Fill the crock with enough water to cover.
3.  Cover.  Cook for 5-6 hours on high, 9-10 hours on low.
4.  About 30 min. before serving, place the torn biscuit dough in the crockpot.  Cook until the dough is longer raw in the center.

Enjoy!  :)

*You may want to double the broth if you like your dumplings soupy.*

Getting Those Tech-Savvy Kids To Do Their Chores

Homemaking is a family effort.  Training children to do chores can be a lot of work.  Working to get someone else to do work...we often resort to just doing it ourselves.  Yes, it can be easier but not the best choice.

Here is an idea for older children who enjoy technology to encourage and train them in the area of chores.

www.myjobchart.com

This is a FREE website that is very easy to navigate.  You, as the parent, set up the account.  You will add your children's names including a photo and their own password.  (I used their birthdays - ex. August2)  

Once that is set up, you will enter various chores for each child.  You will also put if they are AM or PM chores.  Some may be both such as brushing their teeth.  

The work is done!  When a child has completed their chores in the morning, they will log in to their account and mark off the chores done.  Each chore is worth a certain number of points.

You can then create a point system of what they can earn based on the points you decide.

It really is a fun system for tech savvy kiddos!  Older kids can also help younger siblings.  

Perhaps this website can work for you.  Try it out today!

Devotional: "Thou My Best Thought"

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;

Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.

Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,

Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

This past Sunday, we had Vision Sunday.  This hymn is our Chorus of the Month for January.  

This week, I was at the church building doing some preparations with my husband for Sunday...and as I was practicing this song...those words just struck my heart.

"Thou my best Thought, by day or by night".

Goosebumps.  Of all that I constantly have on my mind in one single day...

Housework...Home school...Office work...Church responsibilities...Family...Work

My BEST thought always should be Christ.  I can have no other BEST thought.  

I pray that on this Lord's day...that Christ will be YOUR BEST THOUGHT.

Ladies In Ministry: "What Not To Wear"

Ladies in Ministry – “What Not To Wear”

This post will not be on the subject of pants and bikinis. :D Read on.

As ladies in ministry, we will be looked upon firstly at what we are wearing.  It is important.  It is very important.  It is extremely important.

I will not go into the subject of modesty.  All I will say is modesty is our first and foremost command in what to wear by our Lord Jesus Christ.  As a Christian lady, everything we wear should be reviewed in our mind as if the Lord were to stand before us.

What I would like to encourage you today is “what to wear”. I’m sorry…I do not have a check list for you of what to wear to various functions.  (Even though I am infatuated with check lists. :) )  I would like to nudge you to create your own check list.  

Before doing so, here are my personal guidelines when deciding “what to wear” that may help.

1.  Is this appropriate for the occasion?    

For example:  I do not feel jean skirts are appropriate for a funeral service.  I do not feel pajamas are appropriate for a trip to Wal-Mart.  I don’t feel a t-shirt is appropriate for a job interview.  

I realize that the decadence of our society has not only declined in morals and lifestyles but very much so in dress as well.  I LOVE old TV shows like Leave It To Beaver, Andy Griffith and Father Knows Best where the wives were so beautiful, stylish and proper.  They created a wonderful atmosphere in their home by simply dressing up.  I recently saw a FB post that said, “Home: Where I can look ugly and enjoy it.”  No, no, no!  How sad.  

I had a college teacher of a cooking class that told us she would use real tablecloths and real napkins for every dinner – even when it was just their family.  She wanted her children to know that the special things were just not reserved for the “special” guests.  They were for them because they were special.

What a great thought to adapt to our home life?  Dress up to do your house work and laundry.  Why?  You have a husband and children that are special and they deserve to see a wife and mom that takes the effort to show them they are worth you looking your best.

2.  Find out what others will be wearing and go at least ONE step higher.  Never make your clothing choices based on what everyone else is wearing.  Just because something is acceptable doesn’t mean you should wear it.

A personal preference:  I don’t wear flip flops in the summer and Ugg boots in the winter to church services.  It is not wrong – I simply have chosen to take my dress a step higher than others around me.  I feel those are too casual for a church service and honestly, God deserves us to look our best when we are in His house.  Dress is a sign of respect to others around you.

This past Thanksgiving, my husband asked me, “Why is everyone dressed up?”  (The girls and I were simply wearing nice semi dressy outfits for the holiday.)  I replied, “My standard of what I wear is not based on what everyone else will be wearing.  It is based on what my standard is for the occasion.”

3.  Someone is watching me.  You better know a lot of someones watch their pastor’s wife.  And someone is watching you.  To someone, you will become the model of what a Christian lady is in her appearance. They will not have their own standard so you have become theirs.  Be a model for Christ.

I was telling someone about my oldest daughter recently. She loves to dress stylish and coordinate cute outfits down to the shoes and jewelry.  Every day…just at home…when she will only be home schooling.  That person replied that she has learned that from me simply by observation.  It may be your daughter, a teen girl in the youth group, or a lady in the church.  Someone is watching you.

Why do you not take care in your appearance?  Self-worth. You do not need to find your self-worth from somewhere or someone else.  You will find it in yourself.  Dress well, put on make-up and style your hair…every day.  Yes, your kids will ask where you are going when they see you putting on make-up.  I promise...do this every day and then tell me honestly that you don’t feel better about yourself.  Cause you will be lying.

What not to wear?  Time for you to decide.